You Gave Me Hope
by MidnightBeforetheSunrise
Summary: Female!China -minor mention of abuse- Yao is a student who lives a dull but hectic life by taking care of her two siblings and cousin. Ivan is a student that seems sweet and kind on the outside. Yao doesn't see why people seem almost fearful of him. But as she gets closer, it is evident that something dark lurks inside.
1. Day 1: Hectic

Ukraine is depicted as "Iryna". Hong Kong is "Leon" and Taiwan is "Xiao Mei".

I don't own Hetalia! By the way, in this AU, Yao is a girl. She just dresses as a boy at school and outside of the house.

Also I really wanted to thank the guest review ("One") from my last story. If you see this, I wanted to say thank you so much for the motivation! It means a lot!

Please read and review! Enjoy! 

Day 1: Hectic

 _Rushed activity, in a hurry._

Yao woke up the first time the alarm rang.

And promptly slammed it.

This went on for a few minutes until the alarm stopped ringing and Kiku burst through the door.

"Good morning nii-san, it is already past 7:30. Shouldn't we go to school?"

Yao's eyes were suddenly wide open and she jumped out of bed exclaiming the daily,"Aiyaah, why didn't you wake me up earlier?!" Her voice, like usual, was so loud that both Leon and Xiao Mei woke up, without Kiku having to go into their room.

"I will make breakfast, okay?"

Of course, Kiku didn't really plan on hearing an answer as he went down the stairs, saying good morning to his brother and sister on the way. They had a talent of getting ready within ten minutes.

It was depressing, in a way, as Yao had always planned on changing her sleep habits at the beginning of the school year.

It was the last year for Yao in high school and nothing had changed from the beginning.

Each morning for the past five years have been rushed. Of course, it hadn't been so bad in the beginning. They had a distant relative that lived in Canada and was willing to accept the whole family with open arms after Yao's parents passed away. Originally the family consisted of her two siblings and her cousin, Kiku. That was when they met Yong Soo, who was their 'cousin'. But eventually, Yong Soo and his mother both moved back to South Korea, leaving Yao to take care of everyone.

It hadn't been easy. Yao tried to prepare all the meals, but she took too long. So Kiku insisted on taking care of breakfast and occasionally taking Leon and Xiao Mei to school (since they were still in elementary school while both Kiku and she were in high school). Yao tried to get random part time jobs on the side as both the money left from their parents and the money sent from South Korea was really not enough for the family. It was then that Yao decided to dress as a boy since it was easier then to find jobs and walk down a street at midnight after the job.

And she never minded that at school either. Yao had never been too girly or into any romance. The only time she acted remotely feminine was at home and as a mother to her siblings and Kiku. Though maybe Kiku didn't really see her that way…

"Yao, are you ready yet? I'll take Leon and Xiao Mei to school, so please hurry up. I do not think it is a good idea to be late on the first day."

As true as that was, she already had a solid reputation for the largest amount of accumulated late slips.

Yao heard the door being closed gently and ran down the stairs to see a hot breakfast prepared for her.

Maybe it wasn't so bad that Kiku helped out so often.

 _I shouldn't think that, I'll be a failure of a mother_

And with that thought Yao finished tying her tie and ran out the door, backpack slung over her shoulder.

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First Period: Calculus

"Wang? Wang, Yao?" called the teacher.

"H…Here…" spluttered Yao in a soft voice after running up three flights of stairs. The class turned towards her with the annual judging eyes.

At least she wasn't late.

"If you would please go sit over there."

It wasn't necessary to point. There was only one seat left in the entire Calculus class. As Yao sat down she looked at the seat next to her.

It was a young boy with beautiful snow white hair with matching pale skin. His lips in a smile and his eyes deep violet which seemed to stare deep within the depths of her soul. He seemed out of this world. Something about him seemed so pleasant yet so…so…..different.

A few minutes later, the teacher told them to talk to the person sitting next to them. It was the first day, after all.

"My name is Ivan. Ivan Braginsky. I hope we become good friends, da?"

"Right. My name is Yao Wang."

And so, to rid the silence, they talked about where they came from ("Russia! I only moved here a few months ago") and their family ("I have on-two sisters. Iryna and….well Natalia" Yao noted that the last part came out in a whisper). Yao talked about Kiku and everyone back at home ("Wow you take care of so many people? How responsible of you.") It was surprisingly easy to open up to Ivan.

After all this, Yao couldn't understand why everyone seemed to fear the Russian. There wasn't anything particularly scary nor creepy.

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Lunch

The brown- haired girl ran down the second floor and grabbed Kiku into a big hug.

"Kiku, how have you been? Do you like the lunch that I made you? How was class?"

"Y…Yao, C…c..an't breathe…"

Yao let go of the poor boy with a warm smile on her face, expecting a reply.

"I have not eaten lunch yet Yao…"

"Let's eat lunch together then!"

Kiku looked back at the German and Italian who stood by their lockers in awe as Yao dragged him down the hallway.

It seemed that even after the two years that they'd known each other, the episode never failed to surprise.

They sat at the table in the center of the cafeteria, where all the guys sat. Ludwig and Feliciano joined them at the end of the table and the rest of the students came filing in. The table was filled with warmth, joy and life.

And then Ivan walked towards them.

"Hello Yao-Yao! Can I sit with you?"

"Sure!"

The entire table seemed to turn their heads towards Yao with faces of shock and horror (except for Feliciano and Kiku).

"Wait Yao, you can't just let him sit there!" exclaimed Alfred from the other side of the long table.

"Why not?"

Somehow, that shut Alfred up, and all the others.

Ivan smiled his warm smile and everyone else ate their lunch in an uncomfortable silence.

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After school

It wasn't surprising that Alfred pulled Yao aside after school ("Yao, wait up!" as he held his signature bitten hamburger).

"What is it Alfred?"

Contrary to popular belief, Yao was not clueless. She knew that the entire table didn't like Ivan for whatever reason. So she wasn't surprised when Alfred said:

"Look Yao, you're cool and all, but Ivan isn't. Don't you get it? He's creepy. And he's from Russia, like doesn't that tell you something? And I heard that he beats people up in his spare time! Don't hang out with that dude. He isn't cool."

Though, Yao had to admit, it was surprising how quickly rumors spread around the school. Ivan was a new student.

"Alfred. He's new to the school. How do you even know what you hear is true? Ivan's all alone, and he seems like a nice kid."

"Yao. I'm gonna have to put this bluntly. We don't want a potentially dangerous kid around us. Just don't invite him next time or just don't sit with us."

As Alfred left, Yao stood there, alone.

But try as she might, she couldn't see any harm in Ivan as the sweet boy passed her waving goodbye with a bright smile.


	2. Day 2: Timid

Day 2: Timid

A/N

Sorry for not updating for so long! Thank you so so so much for the reviews!

This chapter sort of introduces several new characters, but mostly someone that's somewhat important in the story. See if you know who it is J (Though it might be a bit obvious because of the title….)

Please read and review! Tell me what you think, I really do appreciate it!

Enjoy!

 _Not outspoken, quiet and often fearful_

Today was Yao's turn to take Leon and Xiao Mei to school.

Which was quite unfortunate, since Yao had woken up late (again), found out that Kiku had left early to meet with a friend (which Yao had forgotten about) and both siblings were still sleeping (since Kiku wasn't here).

Well they actually weren't sleeping for long since Yao screamed when she looked at the clock.

7:40.

Leon and Xiao Mei looked at Yao in some sort of hidden pity as she rushed around the house trying to get everything ready.

"Ga je, we can walk to school by ourselves if you w-"

And Leon was immediately cut off.

"No way! You're only 10! What if something happens to you? What if you get kidnapped? Or murdered? Or -"

Yao continued listing countless impossible possibilities ("I told you that you shouldn't say anything…" whispered Xiao Mei).

"Come on, let's go!"

"But ga je, your breakfast…"

"We don't have any time, let's go!"

And with that the two were dragged out the door.

They decided not to say anything after that.

Yao thanked whatever was in control of the universe that Leon and Xiao Mei's school was close to their house.

The both of them gave Yao a hug before going into their school.

And everything was quite peaceful, until Yao felt like she heard a familiar voice. She turned to see

Ivan?

"Um….See you later Natalia…"

Yao realised the brown-haired girl with Ivan must be his sibling. She seemed like a sweet g-

"I'll see you later. You better be here later, don't even think about going out with someone afterschool. Because you only belong to me. Remember that, Vanya"

"Um….right…."

Yao was rather shocked by the girl's blatant statement and stood there without her mouth open.

It was rather lucky that 'Natalia' didn't notice. Though, Ivan did.

"Hello Yao!" he exclaimed with a large smile and a wave.

Somehow, Ivan's change of mood made the unsettling emotions lighten.

"Hello Ivan"

"I didn't know that your siblings go here!"

"I didn't know yours did as well…"

Seeing that Ivan didn't want to talk about Natalia, as the dark aura around him returned, Yao quickly changed to subject.

And so, they walked down the streets towards their school, happily in conversation.

Until Yao looked at her watch and exclaimed rather loudly that they were going to be late, and, out of habit, dragged Ivan with her as they ran.

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Period 1, Day 2 English

Yao noted that Ivan was actually a pretty good runner, since he ended up dragging her along.

Somehow they made it to the class in time and went to the back of the classroom, with Yao still out of breath and her hand still in Ivan's.

Yao, noticing the others staring at them, forcefully removed her hand from Ivan's and went to her desk.

But as she sat, she noted that two people continued to stare her way. One with short brown hair with a look of fear and the other with shining golden hair with an expression of interest.

Then, the teacher asked them to write their 'emotions' of the day based on certain events onto a new sheet of paper ("Just pretty much write whatever you want! We'll do this every day as a warm up!). Many complained, claiming that it was a childish thing to do, but went along with it anyways.

Yao stared at the intimidating blank piece of paper. Every day was such a drag and unchanging. Eventually she felt like she was part of some system. Emotions were the last thing that she thought about.

Rather, her thoughts were usually of wondering how much they could afford to spend on dinner. Or how much she could spend on a present for Leon's birthday. And Xiao Mei's. And Kiku, no matter how much he denies wanting a gift.

But she still wrote whatever came to mind:

 _September 7, 2014_

 _I've been feeling bored lately._

 _Nothing has really changed, except for Kiku getting this new friend called Heracles (or maybe he was always there). I'm sort of worried about Leon, he's been coming home late. And he won't even tell me whose house he was at! Is he at the rebellious stage? I hope it's just a phase because Kiku never had that._

 _I guess I've been feeling angry and worried overall._

 _Yao Wang_

Yao turned to look at the window after she was done and caught Ivan's eye who appeared to be staring straight at her. And he turned abruptly, leaving Yao to wonder what had happened.

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Day 2, Period 2 Phys-Ed

Yao often wondered why she decided to take PE as an elective. She could have taken something like music instead and avoid having to sneak into a stall to change while no one was paying attention. She was so lucky that Ivan was late.

Since it seemed likely that if anyone noticed her disappearance, it would be him.

Yao burst out of the stall and slipped out of the change room. She stood against the wall waiting for the others to come out.

The first was a timid brown-haired boy, who looked shocked at Yao. For what reason, she didn't know. He then turned away to look at a golden haired 'boy' wearing short shorts. They talked in whispers before the golden haired one pushed the other towards her.

"H-Hello my name is T-Toris."

"Hi. My name's Yao."

'Toris' turned away to look at the other boy again, as if to ask a question.

It appeared he got no answer.

"Y-Yao, I just wanted to tell you something about Ivan. You know, it's just that Ivan, when he was younger was a bit…a bit…hahahahaha…haha…ha….never mind."

Toris didn't finished the sentence and looked quivering with fear at something behind her. The brown-haired boy then turned and fled.

But when Yao turned around, all she saw was Ivan with a smiling face, waving.

Yao waved back, and turned again to see that Toris was talking frantically to the other boy.

They looked straight at her.

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Lunch

That wasn't the last time that Toris tried to approach her.

In fact, all throughout PE, the golden haired boy (who she later found out was called Feliks), kept pushing him towards her. But each conversation ended with a look of fear, a few laughs and a "never mind".

Which left her to wonder what had happened to Ivan when he was younger.

 _Oh well, I'll just ask Ivan later._

Yao went by herself to a random empty corner in the cafeteria.

Kiku then joined her, along with Heracles and Ivan.

Then Ludwig and Feliciano came over sitting close to Kiku.

No one said a word, but Alfred who was at the other table looked over in complete shock.

Alfred wasn't the only one staring.

Toris looked over again, this time his expression filled with worry. And Feliks, who seemed to be painting his nails during lunch, followed Toris' gaze which landed on Yao.

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After School, (Approx. 3:15)

Yao had stayed a little late while copying the notes for Psychology. She ran down the halls, in a hurry to pick up her little siblings (Kiku was having a sleepover with Heracles).

She was just about to turn the corner on the second floor when a hand grabbed her arm and pulled her back behind a wall.

Yao turned to look and saw Toris who put a finger on his mouth.

Then he pushed Yao slightly, still holding her arm, so that she could see the scene in the hallway.

Ivan stood with a murderous aura in front of an albino with narrowed red eyes.


	3. Day 2 and a half: Opaque

-Edited August 22 2016 starts here-

Sorry, this chapter is a bit short!

Thank you for reading so far, I tried to edit a bit of the previous chapters, but there aren't any significant changes.

Thank you again, and please read and review!

Enjoy!

Day 2.5: Opaque

 _Something you can't see through, something you can't understand_

It was within seconds.

The albino appeared to whisper something in Ivan's ear. Ivan punched him. They went into a full-fledged fight. Ivan pinned the other to the ground. He struggled to get out of Ivan's grip, but to no avail. Ivan kept punching the red - eyed man.

The albino bled.

"Stop! Please, stop"

A golden haired boy came into the scene, tears running down his face. Ivan stepped back and the boy dragged the pale, bloody figure away.

Yao put her hands over her mouth, shocked that Ivan was even capable of violence. Toris tried to pull Yao away, but she wouldn't budge. She couldn't.

Something so sweet was stained with crimson.

Ivan turned, his hands bloody. His eyes seemed empty of emotion until he saw Yao. Both of their eyes widened with shock.

And Yao couldn't contain her fear as she bolted down the hallway, Toris following.

They ran down several flights of stairs, and Yao would have kept running if Toris hadn't stopped her, since he was out of breath.

"Y….Yao, wait…"

Needless to say, it was a long walk to Xiao Mei and Leon's school.

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Leon and Xiao Mei's school (approx. 4:00)

Feliks and Toris hadn't said a word to her even when they left. They didn't know what to say and Feliks was worried that he might make it worse.

Maybe she should've trusted Alfred from the beginning. She knew it was her fault, but it just seemed so wrong that someone who brightened her day with small smiles darkened other people's lives as well.

"Ga je, where were you? Xiao Mei went to Elizabeta's house al- Ga je what happened?"

Though Leon was never a sensitive seeming type, he always knew when something was wrong. And Yao's crestfallen face of "I was betrayed" was an emotion that did not take a genius to decipher.

So he hugged her and willingly held her hand, taking her back home.

They both didn't notice the set of purple eyes that followed them as they left.

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Home

It was just Leon and her tonight.

Yao was glad that she didn't have a night shift at the nearby restaurant, otherwise Leon would have to eat all alone.

Leon hadn't bothered saying a word when they got home and went straight up to his room to do 'homework'.

She opened the door of the fridge to get-

That was when Yao decided it wasn't the best day. The carrots started to turn bad, and she forgot to restock potatoes for the stew that she had been planning.

"Leon, I have to go out and get some groceries, okay?"

She hadn't really been expecting a response, but she wrote a note anyways, taped it on the fridge and went out the door.

Yao went down the aisles of the store. She got sidetracked again, like per usual and ended up getting tomatoes and celery as well (which were both on sale).

She turned to leave the store with her arms full of random vegetables, and crashed straight into someone.

"Aiyaah, I'm so sorry!"

The vegetables scattered all over the cold sidewalk. A pale hand picked up a stray potato.

And then Yao looked up to thank the man that is until she realised who he was.

"…Ivan?"

"Yes, Yao Yao?"

She couldn't stop herself as she ran down the street leaving the confused Russian standing there staring at the potato left in his hand.

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They ate dinner together, the missing potato not having much effect on the stew.

Leon had a worried expression as Yao looked even more troubled than before.

"Ga je, is everything alright?"

"N-Yeah, yes everything's fine! How was your day at school?"

Leon began talking about his annoying French teacher and his Icelandic friend while Yao seemed to stare out the window, her mind in another world. But Leon's monotonic voice somehow soothed some of her worries.

Leon had gone to bed soon after.

Yao, however, couldn't sleep.

She lay there, thoughts filling her head. As much as she wanted to stay with Ivan and eat lunch with him like nothing had ever occurred, she didn't think she could. No one could be sure that Ivan wouldn't hurt her or her friends. It was true that Alfred's attitude was a nuisance, but she would hate to see him injured the same way as the albino she saw earlier that day.

Yao eventually drifted off to sleep, dreaming of Ivan's smiling face.

Pure, warm and innocent.


	4. Day 3: Winter

School work has been keeping me busy, I'm really sorry! I'll try to update more frequently after this!

-Aug 22 2016- not much was edited here. Just one sentence...

Day 3: Winter

 _The season where the days grow darker and the nights grow colder._

Several days had passed since Yao had seen Ivan beat up the albino. She later found out that the albino's name was Gilbert Beilschmidt, who was one year younger than them. His name was known around school and he was famous for being prideful, arrogant, and obnoxious. But that didn't mean that Ivan had the right to hurt him.

So during these several days, Yao would turn at random corners and hide behind walls as Ivan walked by. She sat at the table with Alfred again. Kiku and his friends followed. And when Ivan called out to her she turned the other way.

And throughout this time she told herself that it was for the better, that otherwise Ivan wouldn't know what he did was wrong.

But each day she only felt guiltier and Ivan wouldn't stop. In fact, it seemed like he only appeared more often (maybe it was her imagination?)

The days added up, each one bringing her closer to winter. Sure enough, it got chillier and even Leon had started to wear sweaters rather than just short sleeves on weekends.

Yao had just finished her shift at the nearby convenience store and was walking home. It was almost dinner, and Kiku was probably reheating what she had prepared at home for the rest of the siblings. It was awfully cold out, and she had forgotten to bring her winter jacket with her. It was alright in the afternoon, but she sure regretted it now, especially with the light snow falling on the floor.

 _I really can't afford to catch a cold,_ she thought as she tried to pull the scarf tighter around her neck.

Finally reaching home, Yao went through the front door and Kiku came out to greet her. His first words to her that evening being, "Oh, you bought a scarf on the way home?"

And then it dawned upon Yao that she never went out with the scarf nor did she put it on when she left the store. It was as if it had appeared out of thin air.

It was white, like the freshly fallen snow outside.

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Day 2 Classes, Morning

The winter essentials began to appear everywhere, to the point that Yao was slightly freaked out. Pink gloves magically came out of her locker, a beige knit hat was inside her desk, and finally a bright red winter jacket at the front of her house door.

Not only did the person know her size, but also where she lived and possibly her gender.

It went to the point that Yao told Kiku who then told Alfred who insisted on being a hero. "I'll definitely find this creep!" he had exclaimed in the cafeteria which caused everyone at the table to turn away and pretend they didn't know him. He was too loud for his own good.

So Alfred began to place security cameras on Yao's locker and gave some security cameras to Kiku to place at home. He also offered to have a schedule of people to escort Yao, which Yao had blatantly refused.

Somehow, Yao still found earmuffs in her locker the next morning, and Alfred's security cameras had caught nothing but a black screen.

Yao sighed as she closed her locker, seeing a pair of red mittens this time and rushed to class.

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Day 2 Classes, English

English was as boring as ever, and the stalker issue wouldn't stop playing in her mind. Even as she read the poem, the words seemed to just go back out of her head there was no way she could analyze the poem. She fell asleep.

Yao woke up the moment the bell rang and began to pack her bag. She was a slow packer and everyone had already left the room when she spotted a loose sheet of paper lying on the floor.

Yao knew she shouldn't read it, but the writing was quite nice and her curiosity drove her on.

 _My little sunflower,_

 _She tries so hard each day_

 _A determined look on her face_

 _I want to keep her close_

 _But now she is quite far away._

 _My little sunflower,_

 _Why do you stray?_

 _Why do you keep me in this winter alone?_

 _Why won't you stay?_

Yao immediately regretted her decisions. She folded the paper and put it back on the floor, hopefully no one would notice that she had picked it up.

Perhaps the note was meant for someone else? Though something told her that that was not the case.

Yao changed her mind and decided to keep the paper instead, perhaps the writing would help her find the person who gave her the winter clothing.

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Lunch Break

Yao contemplated telling Alfred or Kiku about the creepy note, but she didn't want Alfred to do something silly or Kiku to be too worried.

She ended up cutting a small portion of the poem, just the word "winter" and handed it to Alfred.

"Do you know anyone who has this writing?"

"No, but I'm sure someone here does!"

" Wai-"

But it was too late and Alfred passed the small piece of paper down the table. Each person shook their head till it reached Toris, whose face looked rather pale.

"Oh I think that it is Ivan's. Where did you get this? Ivan doesn't like it when people touch his stuff…"

This time Yao began to turn pale.

 _How could I have not thought of Ivan?_

It was so obvious in the note.

She turned to look at Alfred, then Kiku.

No, she decided. No, it was her own problem and she wouldn't tell them about it. She would have to deal with Ivan alone.

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After School

Yao went to hunt down Ivan, which was quite a change since it was usually the other way around.

"Wait!"

A voice cried from behind her.

"Yao, wait!"

She turned around, it was Toris.

"Yao, the paper, it was you who found it right?"

The usually shy Toris seemed uncharacteristically normal.

"Yes, I found it by my desk."

"Was there a note that went along with it?"

"Well….yes…."

"The note, it was for you wasn't it?"

"I think so, there wasn't really a name attached to it."

Toris sighed.

"Ivan never writes who the notes are addressed to nor his name. Yao, please don't go looking for him."

"How did you know that I was?"

"Because that's what I did before."

"Well I'm going unless you give me a legitimate reason!"

"Isn't seeing Gilbert beat up enough for you?"

Their voices raised in the hallway.

"No! No, it isn't. Gilbert could have just irritated him, I wouldn't know. And it looks like you know something about him that I don't and I think I deserve to know!"

"I guess that I should tell you, I mean you would probably find out eventually."


	5. Day 4: Past

Day 4 Past

I am so so so sorry! It's been so long since I updated and I feel really guilty… I'll try to update more often, but I have a feeling that the next few weeks will be even busier. Thank you The Power Complex for the review!

-Aug 22 Again not much edited, just a bit was cut out and replaced...-

 _I remember Ivan vividly for the first few years of school_

I remember the first day of school. Eduard and Raivis walked with me. Eduard was already memorizing his multiplication table, Raivis was nervous to meet new people (he was awfully shy).

We walked into the classroom and we met a child with bright purple eyes and pure white hair. Warm and sweet would have been the first words I would use to describe Ivan. He was clingy and often tailed us, but there was never any harm meant by it.

At the time we would often see his older sister taking him to school. She was always with him, also awfully sweet but also soft spoken. They never let us go to his house, but it was alright.

The first few years were like a mini paradise

It was in grade 5 that I started noticing something different about Ivan. He seemed sad, and somehow, darker. I told Eduard and Raivis that something seemed off, maybe we should ask him about it? Maybe something happened at home? But they saw nothing different, so another few months passed. I would learn to regret not saying anything more.

The first time Ivan hit someone, it was me.

We had been sitting outside during recess, it was part of lunch break. I asked Ivan why he was wearing a scarf in the middle of spring. It was a good natured question, but Ivan didn't take it well. He slapped me in the face, his own turning dark and I remember clearly him asking "What does it matter to you?" It hurt, and Raivis seemed really scared. Eduard of course stood up and said that he couldn't just do that, it was mean. But Ivan played clueless and none of us had the will to ask about it.

The next time, it was also me.

I don't remember what kind of fight it started off as. I only remember the ending. Ivan, he punched me over and over and I remember him saying, "Do you know why I'm doing this, Toris? It's because I love you" I heard a sweet giggle then I woke up in the infirmary with Eduard and Raivis beside me with worried eyes. Their eyes were filled with horror.

Then the silence started.

None of us dared speak too much, in case we would get beaten up by Ivan. Because the beatings got worse. We were scared. Especially me, I got hit the most, Ivan said it was because I was his "favorite". Though I see nothing good in that, I do realise I was his closest before he became like this. We didn't even bother telling the teacher because Ivan was good at lying and hiding. Not to mention his sweet facades. Who would believe us? No one.

Eduard and Raivis left as soon as they could, running far, far away. They left the school within months. I was the only one that was there, even after Ivan's sister stopped taking him to school. My parents didn't let me move schools, so I was stuck in a type of hell. Every so often, when he felt like it, he would hit me, beat me, and hurt me. And I couldn't do anything about it because I was weak and timid.

It was in grade 7 that Feliks dragged me out of the mess. He became my closest friend, even though he didn't often listen to me, and held no fear for Ivan. And somehow, we distanced ourselves from him.

By high school, it was all over. He didn't beat me anymore, but I was still scared. I never changed. And I never knew why it all started either.

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To say Yao was shocked was probably an understatement. She wondered to pick up Leon and Xiao Mei in some sort of trance. She saw nothing around her, nothing seemed to make sense. She would have said before that Ivan would never hurt anyone, but Gilbert was proof against that and Toris did not seem like someone that would lie.

And out from behind, two arms pulled her back and dragged her into an alleyway.

"What did he tell you?" he said, in a whisper.

She turned to see Ivan, but yet it wasn't Ivan. So angry, so sad, yet a hint of loneliness. But anger prevailed.

"I don't know what you are talking about."

"I asked what he told you Yao! Tell me now!"

"I don't know who you are talking about."  
He slapped her across the face.

"Do not lie to me Ya-"

He stopped and let go of her. He sank to his knees, in tears.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, please don't leave… I love you I don't want them to take you away from me anymore. They're all gone, everyone's gone. Please, please don't leave. I love you Yao, I really love you."

Yao stood there, stunned as Ivan broke down.

And then she ran, his eyes trapped in her mind.

Somehow she took Leon and Xiao Mei home without them questioning her. But when she went home, Kiku seemed worried.

"Yao, is there something wrong?"

"No"

"But nii-san, you're crying"

And Yao touched her face, indeed there were tears.

Maybe it was because there was no chance of denying Ivan's inner violent anger. It seemed that everyone was right, she had been wrong. Ivan had betrayed her.

"It's just melted snow."

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They ate dinner in silence.

Alfred called once, Kiku picked up. Yao didn't bother to listen to most of the conversation, though it was obvious that the topic had to do with her and Ivan.

Her mind only thought of Ivan, when he looked at her with those eyes. The saddened lonely ones. Maybe she shouldn't have run.

"Ahhhhhh, I don't know what to do!"

Everyone at the table stared at her for a moment.

"Well you could always ask us…" Xiao Mei said, in her irritated voice.

"Never mind"

They sighed and went back to finishing dinner.

When Yao went to bed, she couldn't sleep. The words went in a chorus in her head.

And even when she fell asleep she heard them.

 _"_ _I love you, Yao"_

 _"_ _Please don't leave"_


	6. Day 5: Regret

Day 5 – Regret

-Aug 22 Again, two sentences were changed...-

A/N Oh my gosh how long has it been? I feel so bad…. It's finally summer, so I'll try to write some more. If you're curious I was suffering from a phase of after breaking up. Which somehow involved not wanting to see any romance….But it's all good now, I think I can handle it a bit better.

Thank you .SP and Dthfb2rchs33 for the reviews! I'm glad that you like it!

Hope you enjoy! I did work hard until I started talking a bit like Feliks…

And it would be lovely if you left a review

 _If I could only go back and change what I had done_

When Yao woke up that morning she thought it was a dream. Or would it be a nightmare? To be loved by someone was a dream, but to hurt someone…

Probably not quite pleasant.

But the looks that she got from her siblings when she went down the stairs gave her a clue that what had happened that night was definitely real.

She abandoned Ivan when he had no one else.

And yes it was true, Alfred would have told her that it was the right thing to do and Kiku would have agreed (he agreed with whatever Alfred said).

Maybe they weren't always right. Maybe listening to them was her mistake. But then there was Toris who told her about the violence that Ivan would use against those that he was close to.

The haunting image of Ivan punching someone over and over while saying that he loved them popped into her mind.

"Hey Yao! Yao can you hear me?"

Alfred had come up from behind waving his hands in her face. She hadn't noticed at all, she was completely spaced out.

"Geez Yao, you seem so out of it lately, what's with you? Something happen with Ivan again? I told you to stay away from him…"

Kiku sort of gave him the look and Alfred shut up.

They walked in a chilled silence, definitely an uncomfortable one.

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Period 1 Calculus

Yao stared at the blackboard as the teachers words kept pouring out of his mouth. She couldn't even hear what he said, she just couldn't think clearly.

And Ivan wasn't at school.

She wondered briefly where he was, it was too difficult to think of other things yet so painful to only think of him.

You didn't know how much you lost till they're completely gone.

And that's what she realised now.

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Art Day 1, Period 2

There was something really calming about this class since they never really did anything but draw. There were projects but no one really bothered to try to finish them.

"Yao?"

It was a seemingly sparkling little boy with brown hair. He wore a sweet smile.

"Kiku always talks about you, you're his brother right?

"Yes I am…"  
"Does Kiku ever mention me? I'm Feliciano!"

Somehow Yao felt like the youth was rather familiar. Oh. It was the boy that hung out with Kiku's stoic blonde friend.

"Um…sure he did…"

A small lie wouldn't hurt right?

"Oh are you friends with Ivan? Ludwig told me to stay away from him… he's seems scary."

"Ivan's not scary, he's just lonely and misunderstood!"

Ah. Another mistake. The room was rather quiet after Yao's sudden outburst. Feliciano's face suddenly held a smile.

"Oh, I see now."  
As Feliciano suddenly continued talking about how to cook pasta in the best way, Yao wondered off in her own world. And she thought that just maybe she should believe her own words.

That Ivan was lonely and misunderstood. That Ivan had changed from the time that Toris knew him. Maybe he didn't know that hurting people was wrong.

After all, lies were always used to cover the too painful truth.

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Ivan wasn't there at lunch either.

Yao noted that Alfred was overjoyed and the table seemed genuinely in peace.

She didn't say a word to anyone, and Alfred was too distracted to notice. Kiku seemed to send various worried glances across the table.

Feliciano came over, seeing her distress and offered pasta as it supposedly made everything feel better.

Which Yao politely declined as pasta had often caused indigestion for her.

So she continued sulking throughout lunch.

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Period 4 Chemistry

It was one of the few classes that she didn't have with Ivan, so she wasn't haunted by his lack of presence.

But it was the one class that she had with Feliks, who though a person with a kind heart was not the best lab partner.

Nor was he the best company.

"…so like Toris thought it was totally a good idea to go… Yao are you even listening?"

After having to listen to valley girl speech for the last 20 minutes Yao had already zoned out.

Feliks sighed.  
"Look Yao, you're acting like something horrible happened. If it's about Ivan again you shouldn't worry about it. You're acting like he's your crush or something but like he isn't. He's like a total creep and-"

"He's not scary."

"I was gonna say he isn't even that hot, but that does it." Feliks leaned towards her and tilted his head. "I overheard Feli saying that you and Ivan were like really good friends and I was like oh my gosh cause you were all-"

Yao sent a glare over which without words seemed to say "get to the point".

"Okay okay I get it, it's like the small things. Like it's really obvious that Ivan is totally into you. But for a while I thought that there was NO WAY that you would ever even like look at him. You're like way out of his league. But I guess I was wrong about the looking at him thing. Because every time he walks out of the room the face you make is like priceless. And then when he walks in, and you know stuff like that. You're sulking when he isn't here and defending him when people say he's scary. It's like so-"

Feliks trailed off as Yao tried to carefully pour in the Hydrogen Chloride.

But Feliks' second valley girl speech made some impact.

More confusion and maybe give Ivan a chance. People weren't always static and maybe he was open to some sort of change.

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After School

On her way home Yao trudged through the snow, her small footprints left marks.

Then she saw a set of larger footprints next to hers.

In front of her house stood the silver haired mess.

He turned and a whisper could be heard,

"Yao"

"Ivan"

She decided not to make the same mistake this time.


	7. Day 6 : Mend

A/N I'm so happy I finished another chapter! I think that we are slowly reaching the end of "You Gave Me Hope", about 2 or so more chapters. I am planning to write stories in the same 'universe' as this one, but with different pairings. If you want to check out the summaries so far I put them on my profile.

Thank you again .SP for your constant support :D I really appreciate it. Also thank you TheFangirlPotatoArises for the review, glad you like it!

Hope you enjoy this chapter, and I really do appreciate it if you review!

Mend

 _To fix, to put together broken parts._

His light hair was damp from the snow as well as the clothes that he wore, from the scarf to the long winter jacket. His bright purple eyes showed a glimmer of hope at the sight of Yao.

"Ivan, how long have you been standing here?"

Her concern had got the better of her and the initial issue was temporarily ignored.

"8"

"But it's 3 now…. You mean you have been standing here the whole day? Ivan, you'll get sick! It's cold!"

Yes concern, an automatic response she had gained from taking care of her family.

"I am alright Yao, I just wanted to see you one more-"

But he didn't finish his sentence as he fell over into the thick layer of snow.

"Aiyah Ivan! Ivan get up, Ivan-"

There was no response and Yao felt the heated forehead of the silver haired boy. Or well one could say full grown man and quite heavy to top that which was what Yao thought as she tried to drag Ivan into her home by herself. She was then joined by Leon and Kiku halfway who ran over to help.

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When they got into the house, no one said a word. Leon set to finding the spare oversized clothes in the closet, Kiku went to boil water as Yao retrieved packs of Chinese herbal medicine in the cabinet and the unconscious Ivan lay on Yao's bed.

Yao then went to the unconscious Ivan to take of his soaked jacket and scarf.

But as the scarf slipped off, Yao was shocked.

There was blood all over it, scratches on his neck along with bruises.

None of the wounds were treated and Yao set to getting disinfectants immediately. She faintly wondered what had happened to cause Ivan to end up this way as she tried to wash the blood stains off of the pale white scarf.

Leon dumped a pile of clothes in front of Yao's room and set off to do his own things.

Kiku however pulled Yao aside when she went up with the herbal medicine.

"Ne-san, what's going on? Why is he here?"

"I don't know, I honestly don't know, but we have to help him okay? Because Ivan's my friend now, and I'm not going to let him go this time."

Kiku cast a look of disapproval and left with a "Do as you wish. But please be careful, we can't have you getting hurt."

It was the closest that her little brother had ever said to "We need you", and it didn't go unappreciated.

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Yao had cooked a bit of extra stew for Ivan in case he were to wake up.

It was quite late, around nine that Yao heard something that resembled a scream from her room. She sprinted up the stairs.

"Ivan?" she called out at the door.

"My scarf … where am I … Y-Yao?"

They stared at each other for a second before Ivan seemed to freak out.

"Yao, where is my scarf? You haven't seen it right-"

But he felt around his neck and touched the smooth bandage.

He curled up on the bed and wouldn't look up his voice muffled in the sheets.

"Ivan what are you talking about? I just washed the scarf and dressed the wounds- Where do the wounds come from? Ivan please-"

Ivan shied away from her hand as it came closer to his neck.

"Ivan I'm just going to change the bandages, I'm not going to hurt you."

It earned Yao a hug of which Ivan would not break off.

He was shaking, of what Yao did not know, but she decided to leave the question of the scars for another day as Ivan slowly drifted off again to sleep. Somehow dragging Yao with him.

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When she woke up the next day she noted the giant pale arms that wrapped around her waist.

Which resulted Yao to produce a silent scream. Silent as a consequence to the peaceful and feverish Ivan that was still sleeping.

Somehow she slipped out of the bed and changed the bandages without him waking.

She then had Kiku inform the teachers that both her and Ivan were sick.

She glanced behind her. There was no way that she would leave the helpless boy alone.

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The next time that Ivan woke up was in the afternoon as Yao was making lunch.

He crept down the stairs quietly and offered a "Good Morning" before sitting down at the table.

Yao noted that Ivan was extremely uncomfortable without his scarf and with the bandages that she had added to his arms when she found wounds the same morning. He was fidgety and wouldn't really seem to sit still.

He also detested the herbal medicine as his pale face seemed to wrinkle at the smell of it.

But that was understandable, as both Leon and Xiao Mei would only drink it when completely forced to with the power of both her and Kiku.

After several moments of silence and Ivan playing around with the noodles that Yao had cooked it became clear that he was avoiding the subject of his wounds. He didn't even ask to have his scarf back.

But she wouldn't let that happen.

"Ivan, could you please tell me what happened?"

"What are you talking about?"

Yao's response to the false innocence was a glare of her own. Combined with Ivan's nervousness, he quickly concocted the "Oh I just fell down the stairs" excuse.

Yao wasn't going to buy it. It wasn't even a little convincing.

"And falling down the stairs makes your neck have so many bruises? I don't know how you would have to fall to do that. Ivan, I'm not stupid, I am very concerned. Please tell me what's wrong."

It sadly resembled coaxing a child to tell the truth.

"But Yao Yao will hate me."

He met her brown eyes with his clouded purple ones.

Fear and Uncertainty.

"I'm your friend Ivan, I care for you."

Then she added, "I won't leave you anymore."

He seemed convinced with those words.


	8. Day 7 : Hope

A/N **–skip A/N by going to A/N –end-** I am going to start by saying that I am really sorry. I believe I lost the determination to go on for quite a while and I couldn't get myself to continue. It is actually thanks to my cousin who began watching Hetalia quite recently and started reading fanfiction. Even though I believe she will never read this (I didn't tell her that I wrote anything…), it sort of reminded me that there are people reading this story, waiting for it to continue.

Even though it was only a month or so, when I read what I wrote before, I was somewhat horrified… So I tried to edit most of the chapters before, if you wish to reread them. It is mostly minor spelling errors, but also some parts of the story which depicted Yao crying. Yes, "she" is emotional, but I believe I did not present her as a strong enough character in various parts. Emotional as she may be, that was too much crying… The edits start from Chapter 2.5. Chapter 6 was not edited.

I also added an extremely cheesy epilogue to somewhat make up for not updating, but you don't have to read it. It's really cheesy…

.SP thank you again for the review! I hope you haven't given up on me :D Honestly you're an awesome person, probably one of the only people who is encouraging me to continue going forward and finishing this story. You're the most wonderful supporting sassy friend I've had ;) I find that I always look forward to your review~

This is the last chapter of "You Gave Me Hope" I thank you so much for staying with me thus far.

Enjoy and leave a review to share your opinion!

 **A/N –End-**

Day 7: Hope

 _The belief that there is a good and brighter future ahead_

Winter was over, the birds chirped outside, singing their cheerful songs. They brought with them the melted snow and the fresh grass.

Yao sat at her desk finishing the left over homework. She glanced at Ivan who lay on her bed, peaceful. He visited more often now after he left the note of his story.

Yao glanced down at the paper.

 _My father came home in the winter._

 _He brought the cold winds from our old home in Russia with him. Father was obsessed with making our lives 'perfect'. He wanted us to live a greater life than the one he started with, so his standards were very high._

 _Iryna was scared of him so she brought us to Canada as soon as she was of legal age. Natalia had no objections and they both took me with them._

 _He never hit them. It was because I was the only male in the family and father felt that I had to carry on our name. Every slight failure, every mark missed, every opportunity lost, it would be my fault. He had always said it was for me, with every bruise his fist had made he said, "You know why I am doing this, Ivan, it is because I love you. It is all for the best."_

 _And so with every passing winter it went on._

 _Iryna found out this time and she called the authorities. I never knew better, never knew that the hitting was wrong._

 _Father told me that every person in this world was set to hurt me, it was no good to make any true friends._

 _But yet when I saw you I thought how warm you were, how determined. You were the oldest in your family and felt duty to care for the rest, no matter how difficult it would be. Even to the extent of dressing as a male to get a higher paying job. There was fire in your eyes, a fire that I will always lack as my heart feels though it was made of ice. Your kindness and acceptance lured me closer. I wanted to know you better and help you with things you could not do for yourself._

 _When I was hurt, I came here because only here did I know acceptance and safety._

 _I tell you this not for your pity but because I trust you. I am strange and terrifying to many, I know that now. I know what I have done in the past was wrong of me._

 _I believe even though it will take much effort and determination, that I can somehow move past what I am, that perhaps I can follow a different path rather than my father's. I promise that I will try my best to do better._

 _Yao if you will still be my friend, it is more than I could ever ask for. But even if you refuse, know that I am very grateful for what you have already done for me. You treated me as a friend when others thought me as a monster._

 _You gave me hope when I was held captive in the darkest of nights._

 _Thank you,_

 _Ivan_

Naturally Yao had told him that he was never a bad person to start with, simply misunderstood. She told him it was never his fault, and she would always be his friend. She believed that he had never been on his father's path, but she was definitely happier with the calm Ivan that lay on her bed describing how beautiful the spring leaves and colourful butterflies were rather than the one that hurt Toris and Gilbert.

It wasn't pity that she felt after reading the letter, but rather a guilty regret for not asking earlier and some sort of understanding.

The rest of the family never asked about Ivan's frequent visits to the house. Somehow he seemed to merge into their already somewhat large family. Occasionally, he brought with him Natalia and Iryna.

Natalia's seemingly crazy infatuation was soon explained as a defence to try to protect Ivan. She knew something was wrong and tried to get closer to understand what was wrong, but it seemed that her approach had not worked the way she wanted it to.

Iryna felt the guiltiest for not knowing better, even though Ivan had told her there was no way she could have known. Ivan said that after the entire affair, Iryna went home more often to spend time with her siblings.

The entire affair was a private thing between Ivan, his siblings and her.

When Ivan was ready to go back to school, he apologized to Gilbert (whose jaw nearly dropped to the floor) and Toris (who seemed to be shaking when Ivan approached him). Toris ended up giving Eduard and Raivis' email addresses as Ivan wished to send apologies. He made some 'friends' and sat at Alfred's table.

He continued to express some sort of romantic affection towards Yao; however, neither felt quite ready to enter into an 'official' relationship.

Ivan wouldn't heal right away, and perhaps he will never heal all the way. Toris may still flinch when Ivan got too close and Alfred may always be highly suspicious of him. But Yao knew that with time, things would get better. They would get through it together.

The End

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A/N Be warned it is pretty cheesy ahead … So if you wish, you can stop here.

Epilogue

 _The future (15 years later)_

"Ivan, I'm home!"

Yao came through the door of their shared apartment which they had been both living in for five years. Ivan needed support at the time with his writing career and Yao couldn't afford her own apartment when she was studying medicine.

She was a doctor now, working at a nearby hospital and was quite well known and respected.

Of course, Ivan's sudden success as a poet was quite a surprise. He used the pseudonym, _Sunflower_ , which seemed oddly ironic to the darker poems that he wrote. His therapy sessions became less frequent and were almost non-existent for the past few years.

"Welcome home Yao" he responded as he came out of his room.

"Wow, you cooked today?"

It was rare, but Yao could smell the food and borsht which lay in the kitchen.

Food wasn't all. The small kitchen table that they had contained a candle and roses in a vase. Definitely unexpected.

Yao stood there, stunned.

"I thought you would want a surprise after working so hard all the time"

"Oh I was just surprised that's all, thank you."

She smiled, surprises were always quite pleasant, especially when her everyday routine was somewhat tedious.

They started dating around seven years ago, though an unspoken relationship had likely started before then. Romantic things were somewhat rare as they were both busy, but it was clear that Ivan was the more romantic one. He took her out on birthdays and on Valentine's Day to fancy restaurants and walks around the area.

Yao talked a lot over dinner about her siblings and cousins. Kiku was going to come to visit in a few days, bringing his 'friend' Heracles. It was exciting since they didn't visit very often.

Ivan ended up washing the dishes.

But it was obvious that he was starting to get nervous as he put the last dish away. His hand was shaking slightly.

"Ivan, is something wrong? You seem sort of distracted."

"Do you remember what happened fifteen years ago on this day?"

Yao's mind ran in circles.

 _It shouldn't be an anniversary of any sort right? That would be seven years. The first time they met? No, that was in fall at school…_

"It's the day that you told me that you would be my friend even after everything that I have done."

"Ivan, don't say that, why wouldn't I want to be your friend? You're a wonderful and sweet person."

He smiled as he accepted Yao's somewhat awkward hug.

"It's also the day that I was certain that I found the one. And that hasn't changed after so many years, in fact, each growing year has confirmed that I will never love another. Even if we have small fights or big arguments, I believe you are the only one for me. Because your kindness is overflowing and you show that you care in many ways."

Ivan went on one knee and asked with a voice of little confidence, "Yao, will you marry me?"

It was a few seconds before Yao could recover from her shock.

"Yes, definitely!"

It was followed by a hug, a spin and a kiss.

Ivan would never be alone again.

-End-

A/N Thank you again for your support! I am planning on writing other stories that will connect with this one. Hope you'll check them out in the future…


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